It’s very common for a pregnancy to result in a loss. It’s also normal to have some fear when you want to try to conceive again.
The loss of a child is always emotionally difficult. Regardless of whether your child lived for years or died in the womb, it’s a tragic situation for all parents. Additionally, it can cause a great deal of fear when you decide it’s time to try again or when you discover you are pregnant again when it wasn’t planned.
The Pain of Pregnancy Loss
Unfortunately, 10 percent of all known pregnancies end in miscarriage. There is also a longstanding tradition of women being silent when it comes to pregnancy loss. Not only does discussing the loss feel taboo, but it’s also a pain that never leaves.
Fear is also very common after a miscarriage. If you have suffered a pregnancy loss, you may feel fearful of the mere idea of getting pregnant again. This is normal, as you will constantly worry about losing another baby. These anxieties are very real and not simply in your head.
Fortunately, after you have suffered a loss, the chances of having a normal, healthy pregnancy are high. Many first pregnancies end in miscarriage, but the woman can go on to have a perfectly normal, healthy baby afterward.
Fear When Pregnant Again
When a woman who has gone through a miscarriage finds out she’s pregnant again, there may be a mix of emotions. While you will feel happy, at the same time, you might feel a sense of dread of finding out something is wrong. Visits to the doctor can be agony until it’s confirmed that there’s a heartbeat and the fetus is progressing normally. You may be reeling from tough memories of what occurred with your prior pregnancy and reliving the traumatic experience over and over again.
Some women go on to experience multiple miscarriages, but they make up only one percent. Still, if you have already suffered one such loss, it’s perfectly normal to worry about the same thing happening the next time you get pregnant or plan to conceive. The chances are also greater that you will see your doctor more often if you’ve suffered a loss. When blood work is done more often to check the status of the baby, it can help ease your mind. Hearing a heartbeat during ultrasounds can definitely be reassuring.
Ways to Alleviate Fear and Anxiety
After you have suffered a loss, you must properly address it. Take the time to mourn your baby and acknowledge and accept that you suffered a great loss. Everyone is different and grieves differently. If you feel like you should have a memorial for the baby you lost, you should do that. Some women find that opening up about their loss to a close friend or family member helps. Still, others can definitely benefit from getting therapy.
You may also want to avoid certain triggers that can tick up your fear and anxiety. For example, you may want to see a new OB/GYN when you get pregnant again. Always open up to your support system, even if it only consists of your significant other and your therapist.
Seeking Support After a Pregnancy Loss
After you have suffered a pregnancy loss, you should seek out support. Reaching out to others is a healthy way to grieve and move forward. You can even speak with other women who have gone through the same tragedy, which can be helpful. Above all else, you should know that you’re not alone and that there’s help available for you.
You can find support through the following:
- Medical provider: Your medical provider can help and possibly give you answers about what caused your baby’s death. They can also direct you to counseling that can help with your grief.
- Grief counseling: Grief counseling can help you and your partner get through your loss and move forward.
- Religious leader: If you are religious, your religious leader can help you through your grief.
- Support groups: There are various support groups available specifically to help with pregnancy loss and the loss of a child.
- Hotlines: There are also hotlines available to help you get through your grief after a pregnancy loss.
- Books: Books can help you get through your loss. There are many publications available on the subject of miscarriage, stillbirth and loss of a child.
Pregnancy loss is always difficult, no matter what the circumstances. There is help out there. You can find the right resources to help you get through your loss and fear of moving forward to try again.